Bunkers & Badasses 2
by Binbix
Summary: We all know that Lilith, Brick, and Mordechai got their turn to play, but what about the other 6 Vault Hunters who were busy beating the crap out of that Hyperion Informant. This is basically my sequel to Tiny Tina's Assualt on Dragon Keep DLC. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey, so this is basically a sequel I wrote to the Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep DLC because I thought, wouldn't the other six Vault Hunters who were interrogating the Hyperion informant want to play the game too? Anyway this is how I figured it would go. Hope you like it! I don't own Borderlands.**

**P.S. I'm still pretty new to the whole writing thing so any constructive criticism would be appreciated.**

"ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!" Tina cried, throwing the dice onto the board. Axton took one look at the number shown on the dice and leaned back in despair. "Are you kidding me?" He complained. "What's wrong?" Asked Gaige as she came through the doorway, pizza in hand. "And what are you guys doing?" She asked all five Vault Hunters and Tiny Tina who were crowded around the table, where it looked like they were paling a board game. "We're about to play the most BADASS GAME EVER!" Tina shouted at the top of her lungs, making the others cringe slightly. "Huh?" Gaige asked, confused.

"Well," Maya started, "remember when we were interrogating that guy from Hyperion a while back?"

"Yeah," Gaige remembered, "then we headed to that Hyperion Moon Base, killed everyone, blew it up, celebrated with Krieg saying he was going to take us all on the poop train or whatever, and Sal and Axton got pissed drunk. So what?"

"POOP TRAIN!" Krieg shouted, raising his buzzaxe in the air, victoriously.

"Turns out while we were interrogating the guy," Axton continued for Maya, "Tina was up here with Lilith, Brick, and Mordecai playing Bunkers & Badasses. They said it was fun, so we want to play too."

"What? That's what we're doing here?" Asked Salvador. "I thought we were just playing to make Tina feel better about Rol- OW!" He was cut off by Zer0's elbow being forced into his gut.

"We _wanted_ to play/ This game of loot and danger/ And that is all, _right_?" Zer0 added that last part with a bit of edge in his voice towards Sal.

"Eh, yeah right. That's what I meant." Salvador said, rubbing his sore stomach. "Freaking pendejo" He muttered. Zer0 quickly turned towards the muscular dwarf, his hand posed to unsheathe his sword. Salvador quickly looked the other way innocently. Though they were friends, he did not want to get on the assassin's bad side.

"Oh, cool." Said Gaige. "Can I play?"

"Uh, totally, girl!" Said Tina. "Wasn't gonna start another badass round of awesomeness without my BFF with the killah robot!" She pointed to an empty space next to Krieg and Axton. "Just sit your fine ass down and let the games begin!"

Gaige pulled up a chair and scooted in. Krieg looked down at her. "MEDIEVAL TIME, ROBOT LADY!" He shouted. Gaige rubbed her ear and looked at the board. "So who's my character?"

"You can be the commando, siren, mechromancer, assassin, gunzerker, or psycho." Tina answered. Axton scratched his head in confusion. "Wait," he said, "why can't we be our own classes?"

"Dibs on assassin!" Salvador called out, reaching for the figurine that resembled Zer0. The real assassin stopped his hand and grabbed the piece. "I think not." He said quietly.

"No fair." Salvador grumbled.

"Fine," Tina resigned, "y'all can be whoever you want, but it's less fun this way!"

The rest of the Vault Hunters grabbed their figurines and placed them at the part of the board that read "Unassuming Docks of Little Importance", and under that it read "Start, Bitch!" Tina then grabbed a few decks of different cards. "K' this is gonna be your guns, shields, grenade mods, and relics." She announced. "You get these 'til you find better loot in the game." The others nodded, studying their equipment cards.

"Everyone ready?" Tina asked.

"Let's do this!" Said Salvador.

"Ready." Said Zer0.

"STORM THE CASTLE!" Screamed Krieg.

"Let's play!" Said Gaige.

"It's go time!" Said Axton.

"Game on!" Said Maya.

"Round Two!" Said Brick.

Everyone turned to see Brick standing behind Tina, looking at the board with excitement.

"Sorry Brick," said Tina, "there's no more pieces left. 'Sides, you played already, twice, it's their turn now."

"Fine." Brick looked down dejectedly. "But I call next game!"

"Deal!" Said Tina, before returning her attention back to the game. "So as I was saying, ROLL FOR INITIATIVE SUCKAHS!"

* * *

**Author's Note: So just to clarify this break is where I'm going to switch between narrating the Vault Hunters playing the game and the board game itself.**

The Vault Hunters arrived at the docks of Flamerock Refuge, which used to be really nice until the Handsome Sorcerer messed everything up. "Let's head to town to investigate." Axton suggested to the others, who agreed solemnly. It was a nice day- Sorry, I mean it was eternal night, there's real spooky music, and the whole place smells like dead people and butts. "Smells kind of like dead people." Said Gaige as the Hunters walked along the beach.

"And butts." Salvador added.

"SMELLS LIKE HOME!" Said Krieg, earning him a strange look from the others. Suddenly, a horde of skeleton men appeared and ambushed the Vault Hunters. They fought and killed the undead soldiers as they made their way to the gate. When suddenly they heard at the gate's entrance, "Rrraaauuggghh! I am Mister-Boney-Pants-Guy!"

* * *

"Wait, time out." Said Maya, holding her hands in a T-position. "Mister-Boney-Pants-Guy?" Tina shrugged.

"Had to make him up last minute, cuz Lily complained that my first boss was too hard to beat this early in the game." She explained. The others took this in, obviously not too pleased, but understood, sort of.

"Hopefully this boss/ Will present a worthy test/ Of my fighting skills." Said Zer0.

* * *

The skeleton boss, who was actually somewhat shorter than the other skeletons they faced, charged at them, screaming. That is until he was hoisted into the air and held by Maya's phaselock. The Vault Hunters raised their guns in unison. "Oh crap." And that was Mister-Boney-Pants-Guy's last words. Hopefully that was a worthy challenge for Zer0. "It was not." Said Zer0. Oh well, there's gonna be more bosses anyway. With the way to Flamerock Refuge open, our heroes head towards town, unaware that their every step was being watched.

**Author's Note: Hey! Hoped you like the first chapter! I put in the card bit because I just thought that would make sense with the game. I also gave everyone their own characters since that'd be too difficult to write out as I went along. Hope I captured their personalities right, though it's kinda hard to mess up Krieg's. I'm gonna try to put in more dialog in the board game segments and add in a lot of Sci-Fi and Fantasy references, so if there's any you'd like to hear in particular, let me know and I'll try to write it in. That's all, please leave your comments to help me improve in any way!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author****'****s Note: Hey! Thanks for the awesome feedback so far. Glad you guys like it! Can****'****t wait to see your reactions to this next chapter and those that follow! I don****'****t own Borderlands.**

The six Vault Hunters arrived in the dark town of Flamerock Refuge. In the distance they could make out the silhouettes of the town's scouting blimps, always on alert in case of an attack. "Let's talk to some townsfolk." Gaige suggested. The others were in agreement, and they walked over to the first person they saw. "AHHHHHH!" She screamed. She ran away shouting hysterically about "they only come out at night!". The others looked at each other and shrugged, and went over to the next person they saw. Thankfully, this one was a lot saner. "The queen hath gone missing!" She exclaimed. "Maybe her bodyguard, Eleanor, knows where she went." She started to cry.

"If the queen doesn't return, we shall never see the sun again!" Another townsfolk said.

"Sounds like we should go see this Eleanor." Said Maya. The Vault Hunters walked over to a woman clad in armor. Not saying she was fat, but mannn was she big!

* * *

"Wait a minute." Said Axton. "Is this supposed to be Elie?"

"Welllll…" Tina shrugged.

"Tina," said Maya, "that's not nice."

"Pfft, whatevs, she's not here and she won't know 'bout it! Kay?" Tina retorted.

"Look can we just skip past this and get back to the game?" Salvador asked.

"Fine," Maya relented, "but don't be so mean, Tina." Tina just nodded blankly, her full attention focused on the game.

"If Elie's in this game," Gaige whispered to Axton, "I wonder who else is."

"Well, not including Elie," he whispered back, "we know one other person."

* * *

"Greetings fair maiden/ We heard the queen went missing/ Care to let us help?" Zer0 said to Eleanor.

"The queen went into the forest to bring the light back into the world! She said something about using the Tree of Life to undo the curse. That must be where she's going." And so the Vault Hunters purpose became clear, to go to the forest and help the queen. They headed towards the gate out of town into the forest. But the muscular gatekeeper guarding the way didn't seem to keen on letting go so easily.

* * *

"Mr. Torgue is the gatekeeper?" Asked Maya.

"Yeah, I had someone else before, but I like this better." Said Tina.

* * *

"I, MR. TORGUE, AM THE GATEKEEPER TO THESE HAUNTED WOODS OF AWESOMENESSSSS! YEAH! I'LL TAKE YOU ALL THROUGH TO HELP FIND THE QUEEN, BUT FIRST, YOU'VE GOT TO PROVE YOU'RE BADASSITUDE TO GO THROUGH! FIRST TASK; BLOW UP THE VILLAGE'S SCOUT BLIMPS IN A FIERY EXPLOSION!"

"What?!" Gaige asked, dumbfounded. "Why do you want us to destroy the village's only means of defense?"

"BECAUSE," Mr. Torgue answered, "…REASONS!"

The Vault Hunters stared at Mr. Torgue for a few moments before Krieg broke the silence. "EXPLOSION OF FLAMES!" He screamed, running off to find the first blimp.

"Salvador and I/ Should probably go with him/ Lest he hurts someone." Zer0 announced.

"Yeah," Salvador agreed, "like himself, for starters. Idiota loco." The two of them started after Krieg. The remaining three shrugged, and went to find the other blimp.

"This is, like, totally stupid." Gaige complained. "Why are we purposely making this town defenseless?"

"So we can get through to the forest." Axton answered, taking aim at fire barrels positioned next to the blimp's tether. "Hopefully, by the time we get through this, Flamerock Refuge won't need defenses." He fired. The fire barrels exploded into a grewt big ball of… well fire. The flames crept up the threads of the tether towards the blimp. The blimp then erupted in flames as it went crashing down in the distance. "Oh the humanity." He mused.

"I've got a better question for you, Gaige." Maya said as they walked back to the gate. "Why do they have fire barrels positioned conveniently next to the blimps?"

"Good point." Gaige agreed.

They reached the gate to see Krieg, Zer0, and Salvador covered in ash. Salvador seemed to be pretty pissed off, and Zer0… well you can't really tell much with the mask on. Krieg on the other hand seemed pretty pleased. "What happened to you guys?" Gaige asked.

"Not… another… word… chica." Salvador grunted. They turned to Mr. Torgue.

"YEAH FANTASSSYYY! NEXT TASK GO TO THE TAVERN!" He shouted.

"What that's it?" Maya asked, confused. "We go from blowing up blimps to getting a drink?"

"Don't argue with the man," Axton said, obviously pleased, "this could be a dangerous task. I'll do the drinking, just to be safe."

"I'll help!" Salvador volunteered. Maya shook her head, and they went off to the tavern. They came in to see two drunken idiots bothering the buxom serving wench wearing short and tight cloth clothing.

* * *

"Okay, I'm only going to say this once." Said Gaige. "EEEWWWW!"

"Tina that's really inappropriate." Said Maya.

"Come on, girl, gotta let me have something." Tina complained. "Can't let me talk about Elie, can't let me talk about Moxxi, what can't I do next?"

"Yeah, let her have this one." Said Axton. "I don't mind."

"Same here!" Said Salvador.

"And what about you Zer0?" Asked Maya.

"I have no complaint/ This is Tiny Tina's game/ Let her continue." He replied.

"Men." Maya rolled her eyes. She turned to Krieg. "At least you've got manners."

"BLUNT THE KNIVES! CRACK THE PLATES!" He screamed.

"Sort of." Said Gaige.

* * *

"Hey, adventurers," said Moxxi, "these two drunken idiots won't take a hint. Care to give me a hand? Oh, and don't be afraid to get rough."

"YEAH! HELP MOXXI AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THESE GUYS!" Mr. Torgue yelled through their ECHO devices. "HIT THEM SO HARD THEY EXPLODE!"

"What? These guys?" One of the drunks exclaimed. They couldn't handle pixies let alone us! Watch!" The drunk took a swing at Zer0. His fist went straight through him. "What the-?" Zer0 flickered for a moment before disappearing. A blade then appeared under the drunk's chin, poised to slice his neck open. He turned to see Salvador had punched his companion out cold. "Okay, I'm sorry!" He cried. 'I swear I won't say anything douchey ever again!" Zer0 removed his blade and stepped back. The drunk stepped carefully to the door way. Once he was out of reach, he shouted back "Bitch!" and took off running. He didn't get far. Krieg went go retrieve his buzzaxe from the back of the drunk's head. As soon as he took a few steps away, the body suddenly exploded.

"WELL DONE! YOU ARE NOW BADASS ENOUGH TO SURVIVE THE FOREST!" Mr. Torgue screamed through their ECHOs.

"Wait, why did that guy explode? That makes no sense." Said Gaige, as they headed back to the gate.

"Eh, it's Torgue." Said Salvador. "Everything that involves that incendiario explodes." They reached Mr. Torgue, who opened the gate for them. "EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE BADASS ENOUGH TO ENTER THE FOREST, YOU GUYS STILL NEED A GUIDE! PLUS I'M BORED HERE, SO I'M GONNA COME WITH YOU ANYWAY! LET'S GO!" And off they went into the dangers of the forest to look for the queen and to save the day.

**Author****'****s Note: So I know Mr. Torgue isn****'****t the actual gatekeeper who goes with them and it could completely change the entire story, but don****'****t worry I****'****ve thought that out. If you didn****'****t catch the meaning of the Spanish words I put, here****'****s their translation: Idiota loco - crazy idiot; incediario - pyromaniac. I****'****ll try to update ASAP, keep the feedback coming!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hey! Sorry it's been a while. Hate school. Summer's almost here so yay! Thanks for the feedback so far, glad to see people like this story! I don't own Borderlands.**

**P.S. Though it has been mentioned by anyone, it has come to my attention that when I put in a break to transition between the Vault Hunters playing the game and the game itself, the break doesn't show up, so to lessen confusion, this will be the new break line: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope it works!**

The six Vault Hunters, along with Mr. Torgue, entered the dark forest, in dire search of finding the queen. It probably would've gone better if Torgue didn't keep singing "500 miles" over and over again. "I dunno," said Axton, "after a while it kinda grows on you."

"Seriously?" Asked Maya. "I would honestly rather listen to Salvador belch in Truxican. Wait where did Torgue go?" Indeed their overly muscular guide seemed to diaper on them.

"He must've gone on ahead while Gaige was complaining how much better techno is than pop." Said Salvador.

"What?" Said Gaige, defensively. "It's totally true, you can really feel the beat in techno."

"Nah, rock's where it's at." Argued Axton.

"COUNTRY!" Krieg shouted.

"Hm, didn't see that coming." Said Maya.

Suddenly their path was blocked by a giant tree. "Hahahahaha!" It cackled. "Now you are all my prisoners! I will chop you all into tiny pieces and feed upon your flesh, and- Wait! Is that an incendiary weapon?! NOOOOOO!" It screamed as it was literally burned to an ash by Gaige's Maliwan SMG.

"We're all on the same page, here right guys?" Asked Gaige, raising her smoking gun.

"Yup." Said Salvador.

"We have many foes/ All made of wood and eat flesh/ We should fight with fire." Zer0 suggested. They all nodded in agreement and brought out whatever fire weapon they had. Well, except Axton.

* * *

"This sucks." Axton complained. "I mean Sal's got two incendiaries, why couldn't I have gotten one?"

"Sorry, my man." Said Tina. "Thems were the cards that were dealt."

* * *

The Vault Hunters went forward to try and catch up to Torgue, when suddenly Salvador stepped in something. "¿qué demonios?" Salvador yelled. "You gotta be kidding me! Who's the pendejo who's crapping on the road?!" Zer0 took a closer look at the ground.

"It is not feces/ It is a pile of diamonds/ Perhaps it's a trail?" Zer0 suggested.

"Diamonds!" Salvador jumped with glee. He got on his knees and started to collect as much as he could carry.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Sal." Said Maya. "Normally when this much treasure is left alone, it's not a good thing." Salvador just ignored her as he kept stuffing the gems in his pockets.

"FOLLOW THE SHINY BRICK ROAD!" Krieg screamed. He pointed to another pile of diamonds not too far away.

"Good call, big guy." Said Axton. "It looks like Zer0 was right, let's follow the trail."

The heroes continued on, finding more diamond piles, thanks to Zer0's keen eye, and Salvador's greediness. Suddenly they heard a voice coming through their ECHOs. "This forest grew from the corpses of my enemies, isn't that a kick in the ass?" It said.

"Who's that?" Asked Gaige. "He kinda sounds like Jack."

"Yeah, he's got the same level of doucheness." Said Axton

"Maybe after I kill you a fern will grow out of your body, or something. People like ferns. You ever notice that?" The voice continued.

"THE MAGIC MAN!" Krieg deduced.

"Nice call," said Maya, "that probably was the Handsome Sorcerer."

"Who?" Asked Salvador.

"The Handsome Sorcerer?" Maya repeated. "The bad guy in this game we're playing?"

"Ohhhh." Said Salvador. "Yeah, no idea who you're talking about."

"Weren't you listening in the beginning?" Asked Gaige, a little bit annoyed at Salvador's ignorance.

"Umm, no?" Salvador answered.

"Whatever," said Maya, "let's keep moving."

The Vault Hunters continued on the path, burning any man-eating trees and wildlife threatening to attack them. They had just reached the last pile of diamonds when they heard in the distance, "AND I WILL WALK FIVE HUNDRED MILES, AND I WILL WALK FIVE HUNDRED MORE…!"

"Found Torgue." Axton announced. They hurried forward to find Mr. Torgue waiting for them next to some kind of camp.

"FINALLY!" Torgue exclaimed. "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU GUYS FOREVER! LET'S GO!" He turned around to the left of the camp and continued to sing.

"You know," said Gaige, as they followed, "it kinda grows on you after a while."

"Told ya." Axton smirked. They reached a great big door that was shut tight.

"AH CRAP! Torgue complained. "DEAD END!" He looked to the side. "HEY, LOOK! ORCISH WRITING!" He ran over to decipher it. "IT SAYS YOU NEED 'TO BATHE THE ARTIFACTS IN JUICES OF BLAH BLAH BLAH' JUST GET SOME BLOODFRUIT! YOU'LL FIND IT IN THE ORC CAMP OVER THERE!"

The Vault Hunters looked towards the camp he was pointing to. It was filled with huge orcs, bigger than even a badass goliath. "Okay, here's the plan." Axton said. "We'll go in and Maya, Krieg, and I will flank to the left, while Gaige, Salvador and Zer0 flank right. Gaige will bring out Deathtrap while I bring out my turret, and Salvador and Krieg will begin to draw fire. That'll leave Zer0 and Maya to pick off any stragglers. Okay?" He looked up. "Where's Sal?"

"EAT LEAD, PERRAS!" Salvador shouted, charging into the camp holding two shotguns in either hand. Axton sighed. No one ever listened to his strategies.

"Okay, new plan." He announced. "Try not to die."

"FORTH EORLINGAS!" Krieg shouted. The rest of the Vault Hunters charged in after Salvador guns blazing.

"Hey stand in front of this!" Axton threw out his turret while firing a Vladof assault rifle in the other direction, giving Maya cover while she phaselocked several orcs in one orb, only to be taken out by Salvador. Gaige rushed past with Deathtrap, shooting and frying orcs left to right, while Krieg went into a buzzaxe rampage slicing every orc in his way. He came across a Charger Orc that had a ram's head. The orc lowered its head and charged full power at Krieg, only to be stopped by an invisible slice through his gut. Zer0 materialized next to the corpse, sword in one hand and a Hyperion sniper rifle in the other. Zer0 raised his sniper rifle and shot an orc directly behind Krieg.

"THEY HAD NO HONOR IN LIFE, THEY HAVE NONE NOW IN DEATH!" Krieg shouted, waving his buzzaxe above his head in a victorious fashion. The other Vault Hunters just smiled and shook their heads.

Suddenly a loud roar could be heard behind them. The heroes turned to see a giant Warlord Orc swinging his huge greataxe in rage.

"This guy's going down, amigos!" Salvador said, cocking his shotguns.

* * *

"Um, sorry." Said Tina. "You can't kill him. Y'all don't have high enough levels."

"What?!" Salvador yelled, dumbfounded. "That's stupid."

"Sorry." Tina said again. "You gonna die if you try and fight him. For reals."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Axton groaned. "Running's lame."

'Yeah, can't we like, roll the dice or something?" Maya tried.

"Weeellll…. nope." Said Tina.

* * *

"Um, idea." Gaige said. "Run!" The Vault Hunters scrambled after her up a huge tree into a pool of what appeared to be bloodfruit juice.

"This is so lame!" Axton complained. A man eating tree climbed out of the pool, towering over the Vault Hunters. "Ah crap." Axton muttered. They raised their weapons when Maya noticed bloodfruit hanging from its branches.

"Look! Bloodfruit!" She exclaimed. "If we burn the tree, we burn the bloodfruit!"

"Damn it!" Axton yelled. "Can't we do anything?" He suddenly had an idea. "Zer0!" Zer0 nodded and went invisible. The tree tipped to one side, and then the other, almost as if someone was climbing its branches and knocking the fruit off. Zer0 returned a moment later with three bloodfruits in his arms.

"Nice." Said Axton.

"Now what do we do about the tree?" Asked Gaige. A roar came behind them. They turned to see the Warlord Orc had finally climbed to the top and caught up with them. The tree roared at them on the other side. They were trapped.

"Maybe not." Zer0 said. He put his hand up to signal the other Vault Hunters to hold position. The Warlord Orc yelled one last time and charged, swinging his greataxe with mighty strikes. The tree screeched and lumbered forward (get it?). "Now!" Zer0 commanded. The Vault Hunters leaped out of the way, and the two titans clashed into each other (how about that one?).

"Sweet." Said Maya. "Let's bring these back to Torgue.

"SWEET!" Said Mr. Torgue, upon their arrival. "NOW JUST SMEAR THE BLOODFRUIT ON THESE ARTIFACTS!" Salvador took all three bloodfruits and squeezed them in his huge, steroid product, hands. The juices began to drip out onto Krieg's hands.

"FINGER PAINTING!" He cried. He smeared his fruit stained hands on either side of the doorway.

"Hey Sal, what does that taste like?" Gaige asked. Salvador licked his hand.

"Tastes like crap… and blood." He answered. Then licked his hand again. The door swung open.

"SWEET! INTO THE WOODS OF IMMORTALITY!" Torgue yelled, playing an imaginary electric guitar.

**Author's Note: Hey! So coming up with sci-fi and fantasy references for each chapter is getting kinda hard, so please suggest some you'd like to see in the fanfic and I'll try my best to put it in somehow. Spanish words are: ****¿qué ****demonios?****- What the hell?; perras- bitches.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Good news: Summer's here yay! Bad news: I'm going to camp in a few weeks. More bad news: I'm going straight to school from camp so it will be a while until I post another chapter when I leave. So to compromise, and to save myself from a lynch mob, I will try and update chapters as much as I can until I go. So without further ado…. enjoy this next chapter! I don't own Borderlands.**

**P.S. Well I'm an idiot because I didn't know about editing and putting breaks in documents before posting as a chapter. But as you can see it's been fixed! Special Thanks to Silenced Cry for the help!**

Everything in the Immortal Woods was quiet. Too quiet. "Damn it!" Salvador complained. "We lost Torgue again."

"How does he move so fast?" Gaige wondered.

"We would have much pace/ If Salvador did not not stop/ For the diamond marks." Zer0 replied.

"What?" Salvador said defensively, trying to shove the diamonds into his pockets. "It's money. Don't tell me you wouldn't grab all this moolah some rich idiota left behind."

"You mean the queen?" Said Maya, pointedly. "The same one we're following though this trail she deliberately left behind for us to find her. Salvador shrugged and continued to collect the dumped riches. His mining for loot was cut short as a band of knights came before them.

"There be thy enemies of thine sorcerer, they shall thie!" They pronounced.

* * *

"Tina, I'm pretty sure that makes no sense at all." Said Maya.

"It's cool, girl." Said Tina. "Them medievals used this as slang."

"Yeah, but not like this." Said Axton. "I don't think you even know what these words mean." Tina shrugged and went back to the game.

* * *

The heroes fought against the knights. Which wasn't too hard considering the knights had swords and bows, while the Vault Hunters had friggin' guns. The only issue was the armor. At least until Krieg got a little creative with his buzzaxe.

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" He screamed, lopping their heads off one by one.

"Ew." Said Gaige

"Awesome." Said Salvador. The Vault hunters headed on, finding more diamond markers, and evil knights, until they heard the familiar tune being sung sort of off-key by their muscular guide.

"YOU GUYS NEED TO KEEP UP!" Torgue complained, and with that he led them into a cave. "CRAP! DEAD END! WE'LL NEED THE WHITE KNIGHT TO…" He paused for a moment. "OH WAIT, NO WE DON'T CUZ I'M F********G AWESOME!"

* * *

"Wait a minute Tina." Axton interrupted. "Didn't Lilith tell us you used Roland as the White Knight?"

"Nope," Tina quickly replied, "no idea what you're talkin' about."

"Tina," said Maya, "I thought you created the Whit Knight so Roland could still be with us in the game."

"Yeah," said Salvador, "and that's the whole reason we're playing this…" Zer0 gave him a sharp look. "This totally awesome game. Heh heh, right Zer0?" Zer0 nodded and leaned back slowly from Salvador.

"No!" Tina cried, on the brink of tears. "We don't need him! We can still have an awesome game without him! W-we don't need…" Tina was really starting to get emotional. Tears were forming on her face and the Vault Hunters around her were unsure of what to do. That is until Krieg got up and walked over to her. Maya readied her pistol in case Krieg was about to do something drastic. They could never tell with him. Suddenly he crouched down and embraced her in a hug which she accepted fast, hugging him back tightly. The other Vault Hunters looked at each other. Did she know who he was? Did he know? The embrace ended and Krieg looked at her and said in the softest voice they ever heard from him, "The force is with you." Tina nodded and wiped away her tears. Krieg took back his seat between his now dumbstruck friends.

"Okay." Tina finally said. "Let's get the White Knight!"

* * *

"GO GET HIM!" Torgue yelled before marking where he should be on their echoes. The Vault Hunters nodded and left the cave in pursuit. After a while of traveling, running into both knights and skeletons, they found what appeared to be the fiery remains of an airship.

"Hey!" Gaige exclaimed. "This is one of the Same airships we destroyed!"

"Ah, crap." Said Axton. "Did we just kill the White Knight?" Suddenly on the pedestal before them, they saw the White Knight in all of his handsome glory.

"Cool, he's alive." Salvador noted. Roland the White Knight was about to speak when a roar could be heard behind him.

"THERE BE DRAGONS!" Krieg exclaimed, readying his weapons.

"We'll talk later!" Roland called out. "Help me fight these things!" The Vault Hunters immediately sprang into action. Axton threw out his turret next to a turret Roland threw out and focused his fire at one of the two ancient red dragons that appeared. Maya fired away with her Tediore SMG, while trying to phaselock the dragons.

"They're moving too fast!" She complained.

"Not fast enough for Deathtrap!" Gaige yelled, summoning her metallic best friend. Deathtrap fired his lasers at the dragons, hitting each target without missing."Go DT!" Gaige cheered, while firing her electric shotgun. Zer0, in the meantime, was using his sniper rifle next to Salvador, who was sporting twin rocket launchers, laughing maniacally. Krieg was, well, just being Krieg, throwing buzzaxe after buzzaxe, as fast as they could digistruct for him. The explosions on the dragons' scaled heads were too much for them and they went down. The Vault Hunters cheered until Krieg shouted:

"THE DRAGON MUST HAVE THREE HEADS!" He pointed at the sky where an ancient green dragon was heading toward them.

"Open fire!" Roland yelled, and everyone complied, focusing their fire directly at this last beast. Bullets and fire flew everywhere until, finally, the dragon fell. Roland turned to the Vault Hunters and said, "Shorties you the best! I owe you one. I'd be honored to join you're quest, girl."

* * *

"What?" Maya interrupted, confused as hell. "Roland doesn't talk like that."

"He does when I'm voicing him, girl." Tina replied. "Why doesn't anyone get that?"

"Forget it, Maya." Axton said before she could object. "It's Tina's game."

"Fine," she gave up, "but it's still weird."

* * *

"Yes for shizzle." Roland continued. "Now let's go." The Vault Hunters followed him back to the cave. "I was looking for the queen in my blimp," he said as they walked, "but my blimp was suddenly shot down in a great ball of fire." Gaige suddenly looked down at her feet, while the others, besides Krieg and Zer0, looked the other way. "Oh well." He finished. "I'm here now!" The reached the cave where they found Torgue waiting.

"FINALLY!" Said Torgue. "YOU GUYS TOOK FOREVER!" He turned to Roland. "RAISE YOUR SWORD AND SHOW US THE WAY!" He said that last part with an air guitar.

"Kay." Roland said, raising his, er, gun/sword. He has a gun, okay? The orcish writing grew bright and suddenly the pathway was clear.

"ALRIGHT!" Torgue yelled, excited. "THE PATH TO THE TREE OF LIFE IS OPEN! THE QUEEN'S PROBABLY THERE! LET'S GO! Everyone followed Roland and Torgue up the stairs to a great oak tree.

"What is this place?" Maya asked.

"Vitality Grove." Roland answered. "This is where the Tree of Life first took root. The Tree holds all the good and natural magics in the world. The queen must have come here to reverse the Sorcerer's curse."

"Uh, hermano?" Salvador asked Roland. "The queen's not here, where is she?"

"THE ORCISH WRITING SAYS WE COULD REVERSE THE SPELL WITH A RITUAL! GIVE ME THE BLOODFRUIT!"

"Aw man!" Salvador complained. "I was saving this!"

"Just fork it over, Sal." Axton said. Grumbling, Salvador handed the bloodfruit over to Torgue. Torgue walked over to the tree and poured the bloodfruit juice over the bark.

"OLD GODS OF MAGIC!" He began "GIVE ME… POWERS! AND…. MORE MAGIC! FREEDDDOOOMMM!" Tree grew dark, and the sky turned red. Four gravestones appeared and Huge skeletons with crowns came out. "Hahahaha!" Torgue laughed. But it wasn't Torgue anymore. It was the Handsome Sorcerer! "Skeleton King spell! BOOYAH! FACE!" He cackled. "I can't believe how stupid you were! Would you really believe that Torgue would have wanted you to blow up the town's defense?"

"Um, yeah, actually." Gaige answered.

"Really?" The Handsome Sorcerer asked, confused. "I mean seriously? He would?"

"We've done worse." Said Axton. "For him and others."

"Wow." The Handsome Sorcerer responded. "That's messed up. Anyway best be leaving you to your deaths. Ciao!" And with that, he vanished in a puff of smoke.

"What a douchebag." Axton commented. He turned to his friends. "Ready?"

"Ready!" They answered in unison.

"DEATH!" Krieg shouted, leading the charge into the Skeleton Kings. Roland's and Axton's turrets flew out and began firing. Maya phase locked and fired. Krieg slashed here and there and fired his Torgue shotgun. Sparks flew as Gaige and Deathtrap, fired left and right, slashing with they're digistructed claws. Zer0's deception was all over the place as the real Zer0 sliced the skeletons with his sword. And Salvador was, well he was gunzerking. 'Nuff said. Soon all the skeletons were down, but they're heads were still flying. A few quick shotgun blasts took care of them fast. Roland sheathed his gun and said:

"As a representative of the Queen's Imperial Guard, I, Roland, hereby dub you: knights of justice and awesomeness. You must now continue this mission. The Sorcerer now has the queen and that's where you must go next. You'll have to cut through the Dwarven Slave Mines to reach his tower. Good luck." The Vault Hunters nodded and went through the doorway Roland pointed to, to reach Dwarven Slave Mines.

"Are we seriously not going to talk about how the Sorcerer was really Torgue, or how those Skeleton Kings' heads just flew right at us, or anything?" Gaige asked.

"Hmmm. Nope." Salvador answered.

**Author's Note: Hey! Sorry if I misled any of you when I said this was going to be comedy but still put that scene with Tina and Krieg in here. I tried to figure out how to bring Roland up in this without her bawling because of that whole thing she went through in the game, but I couldn't. So crying aside I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you next time!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: So I'm a bad person because I said I would update as often as I could and I couldn't, and this will be my last update for a while. So I hope you guys like this chapter well enough not to kill me so I can continue writing in the Fall. So enjoy! I don't own Borderlands.**

**P.S. This is a response to transcendentviewer and anyone else who might've gotten upset from the Krieg/Tina thing in the last chapter: Whether or not you believe Krieg really is her father isn't really the point of that scene. In fact if you look at it from another angle it probably is implying something else. I just thought it would be cool to have the most dangerous and unpredictable member of the team do something gentle and throw in a Star Wars reference, but I'm sorry if you didn't like it. There, try and sue me now.**

The Vault Hunters entered the Dwarven Mines, hearing the anguished wails of the Sorcerer's political prisoners and enslaved dwarves. "AUUGGHH! Help me! I'm a dwarf and I'm enslaved!" A voice echoed throughout the mines.

"Well that was an oddly specific cry for help." Salvador remarked. These mines house Ragnar, king of the Dwarves and leader of the anti-Sorcerer resistance. The Vault Hunters decided that if they were to talk to him, they could join forces with the dwarves and become unstoppable.

* * *

"I'll do it." Maya offered. "My charisma's pretty high."

"So's mine." Said Gaige. "Let me do it."

"Hey!" Salvador interrupted. "Maybe you chicas didn't realize it, but dwarves speak Truxican so let me do it!"

"That's bull and you know it, Sal." Axton said to the Gunzerker.

"Morderme!" Salvador shot back.

"Huh?" Axton raised his eyebrow.

"Bite me!" Salvador translated.

"Yo, guys," Tina interrupted, "it don't matter. Y'all gotta roll to see who talks to Ragnar." Grumbling, everyone rolled their dice.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Salvador complained.

"WE SHALL MAKE THEM TALK!" Krieg screamed.

"This should go well." Gaige moaned.

* * *

"Hey check it out!" Axton exclaimed. "A loot chest!"

* * *

"Do you want to open it Axton?" Tina asked.

"Of course I want to open it!" Axton said to her. " I need better gear and…"

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! THE CHEST TURNED INTO A FRIGGIN' MONSTER! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

"Tina! What the hell?" Axton cried from the floor. He stood up and got back on his chair. "You nearly gave me a friggin' heart attack!"

"Sorry." Tina said, grinning.

* * *

"Look out!" Axton cried out. "Orcs!" The Vault Hunters charged through, shooting orcs down left and right. They made their way towards a structure built from stone.

"Over here laddy!" A dwarf dressed in armor and sporting a crown called out. "My boys are itchin' to fight by yer side!"

"This must be Ragnar/ Krieg, talk to him gently please/ We need his help." Zer0 advised. Krieg stepped forward toward the little king. _This is it_. The sane part of his mind said to him. _Rally his help for you and your friends. You can do this._ Krieg took out his buzzaxe and raised it in the air.

"SALT THE WOUND!" He cried.

"What?!" Ragnar yelled, enraged. "Ye want to add pain to our hard livin' and salt our wounds? How dare ye! This means war! Kill them!" He charged at Krieg fists flying. Unfortunately he didn't expect Krieg's Maliwan shield with caustic backlash. "AHHH!" He screamed as the acid ate threw his body, killing him.

"They killed Ragnar the Emancipator! He was going to lead us to freedom! Kill them!" The dwarves came down on the Vault Hunters.

"Great, more enemies." Gaige complained. "Way to go, Krieg."

"CRUSH THEM WITH MY FEET!" Krieg yelled out. The dwarves kept coming at all directions, but the Vault Hunters were ready for them. They shot and stabbed and sliced and- well, they made their way towards a bridge rope. In the distance they saw a lonely wizard blocking their path.

"Oh crap." Axton groaned. "It's Claptrap." The Claptrap wizard turned at the sound of all the Vault Hunters groaning.

"Oh no!" Claptrap cried. "Another band of adventurers looking to take down the Sorcerer. Look, you won't make it. You'll either die or be enslaved, and I can't in good conscience let you continue in your foolhardy quest." He raised his magic staff. "You! Shall! Not! Pass!" He slammed his staff into the ground, releasing immense power. Which slammed him backwards and onto his back. The Vault Hunters looked at each other, shrugged and stepped over him. "Dammit!" Claptrap cursed. "Fine! If you really wanna get to the Sorcerer's castle, I'll mark it on your map for you. But if you die you won't be able to say I didn't warn ya. Because you'll be dead." He paused. "Hey! You're talking to me and I don't have a quest to give you! This is the best day of my life!"

The Vault Hunters quickly left him there and made their way towards the exit, only to find it locked by Dwarven Door-Locking Magic. "Dammit! Now what?" Gaige complained.

"Crap." Maya groaned. "I think I know who'll help us."

"No way!" Claptrap exclaimed when the Vault Hunters hesitantly asked for his help. "That's like my third favorite type of magic! Look you're gonna need the secret dwarven passphrase to open the door. Go find some weird runes scattered around the mines. They'll probably spell out the passphrase for you to get out of here! In fact I found one yesterday! But it's mine you can't have it!" Zer0 placed his sword near the robot's eye. "But I changed my mind here you go!"

The Vault Hunters began moving forward when a voice rang out over their ECHOs: "The Sorcerer told me about you lot!" It said. "The name's Greentooth and I run these mines, and you'll never get the runes! Never!"

"Sounds like fun's on the way!" Salvador cheered. Hey Zer0! What say we make a little game amigo? Most kills wins!"

"I accept." Zer0 responded just as dwarves and rock golems came at them to attack. The Vault Hunters moved throughout the mines killing both the dwarves and the golems. Axton's turret's bullets were flying all over, as Deathrap sliced and zapped through phaselocks provided by Maya. Krieg was having the time of his life, shoot and slicing all the way through their hunt for runes. Salvador and Zer0 were hard at work with their challenge, shooting and stabbing and killing anything that moved.

"Hey where's Zer0?" Salvador shouted over the noise of his carnage. "Last I checked, He was at twenty and I just killed my twenty first! I'm ahead!" He was interrupted by an explosion behind him and turned to see a large rock golem fall, killing three dwarves with it. Zer0 stood atop the rock carcass triumphantly. 'Still only counts as one!" Salvador yelled and continued to dwarves kept coming at them in attack. Some were even holding guns. Two at a time! In fact they looked kinda like…

* * *

"Hey! ¿qué demonios?" Salvador shouted. "Why do all the dwarves look like me?" Everyone began to snicker at this.

"What?" Tina cried defensively. "You said it was cool remember? When you were interrogating that Hyperion dude?"

"I did?" Salvador thought for a few moments. "Oh yeah… Awesome!"

"Yeah but not as awesome as that forest pixie that looked like Maya." Said Axton.

"Wait what?" Maya asked suddenly.

"Ok back to the game!" Tina shouted

* * *

The Vault hunters had gathered three runes but they needed one more. They entered a huge forge where they found Greentooth waiting for them. "Welcome to my lair." He said to them. "NOW FRIGGIN' DIE!" He jumper into the lava before them and a huge golden golem came out with him inside. The golem came forward attacking them with globs of lava and thundering footsteps until Axton noticed a floating orb around the golem's head.

"Zer0!" Axton shouted. "The orb!" Zer0 nodded and directed his sniper rifle fire to the orb. After a few shots the orb broke and the Golem fell.

"What the?" Greentooth came out dazed. "Vault Hunters? Well whaddya know? I've been under that evil Sorcerer's control forever and ye broke the curse. Well done! I'll just gove ye this here rune and… Hey! You're the douchebags who killed Ragnar. Die!" As the golem rebuilt itself magically Gaige turned to Krieg.

"Happy now?" She asked sarcastically.

"TIME TO SLAY!" Krieg shouted with delight. Gaige sighed and summoned Deathtrap. Everyone bega focusing their fire on the golem until it really fell with Greentooth inside.

"Finally!" Said Axotn. "Let's get that last rune and get out of here." They grabbed the rune and ran all the way back to find that Zer0 beat them there.

"How did you get here so fast?" Asked Maya between panting.

"Claptrap helped me out/ He brought a magic portal/ And got me ahead." He answered.

"Gaige cursed under her breath as the Vault Hunters brought the runes forward to decipher the passcode. The letters were T, F, R, and A.

"Arft?" Salvador guessed.

"Why would it be arft?" Axton asked him. Salvador just shrugged when Krieg raised his buzzaxe in the air.

"FART!" He shouted.

"Nice try, big guy." Said Axton. "But I don't think the word is…" He was cut off by the doorway unlocking and opening before them. "Son of a bitch." He said stunned.

"Hey! Something smells bad! Did someone say 'fart'? Hahahaha!" Claptrap yelled through their ECHOs.

"Ugh! He ruins everything." Said Gaige as the Vault Hunters headed through the doorway towards the Sorcerer's castle.

**Author's Note: Well that's it for now! I put the chest thing in because I nearly had a heart attack myself when I first opened one of those things. I had a lot of fun with this chapter and this was one of the first ones I had thought through when writing this fanfic. Have a great Summer! See you in Fall!**


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